Its all about hiding the crazy...

Eh?

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:31:13 GMT

When did this happen? http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/dec/10/assisted-suicide-scottish-parliament
I'm not meaning the article but the readers comments. Are the English papers having another anti scottish run again? Like the time everyone kept phoning up to tell us what a drain Scotland was on British finances. Although my family stopped it when the Herald published a breakdown of how much everybody received per head of population, region by region. It was great fun phoning up my family in the midlands and demanding they stop sponging off us.

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:31:43 GMT

Mrs R's top 5 most nausea inducing things, ever.

1. Coffee grounds in the filter
2. Most of the noises coming from mr_rakshasa at the moment. But this could be because he sounds like a coffee perculator. Which makes me think of coffe grounds.
3. Blueberry muffins. Seeing a blueberry muffin. Thinking or writing the word 'blueberry muffin'.
4. Most music.
5. Blue toothpaste. This one has taken me by suprise.

Also porridge and Michael Rosen still. Both of which are pretty inconvenient. And cars. And watching Tasha eat. Looking at Mr R's nose and the contents thereof which seem to keep popping up in unexpected places.

Tasha on "the pox"

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 10:14:36 GMT

Chicken pox is making my eyes wobble.

{EDIT} After somebody on my facebook panicking about the possibility of my father in law infecting everyone in Kilmarnock - I looked it up. They are only infectious 2 days before spots. Not 2 weeks. So that is all fine.

For some reason lj hates me and got rid of my post. Sorry goaskyourmother</lj> goaskyourmother I tried to respond but it had gone. We have 2 tubes of the gel and my firends returning my muslin bag for sticking porridge in. But thanks for the offer.

Yay America.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:30:51 GMT

Well done - I really did fear he wouldn't get in.

Right - whilst he's not paying attention, can anyone help? Tasha's big pink barbie pony has turned evil and keeps hurting us. I wondered if it was because he was pink. My friend passed him on to us - presumably because she hates us. Tasha kept saying he was naughty but I didn't listen. Now he has started kicking her in the face. He got Tom on the foot this morning. He did it yesterday at school in front of witnesses. I ve tried shooting him with a variety of lego guns - but next thing theres a scream and he's struck again. Telling him he's naughty - does not seem to be working.

Please help as we are a family in terror of 6 inch childs toy.

Let the furniture stampede commence

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:28:59 GMT

Today - Jane from Home Start is coming in 2 hours to take the kids out to see her horses. WHilst I in theory do lots of packing related stuff.

Tomorrow.  Collect keys. Furniture from Box Room will be delivered to new house - including a kids wardrobe, a mirror for our "interesting" dressing table (acquired last week from the Box Room), a couple of bedside drawers, a pine toy box, and possibly the most hideous chest of drawers ever seen. The staff at the Box Room thought it was that unsightly they gave it us for free.

Saturday Tom is going to the Banchory Show for the day with his friends. His friends Dad is then pinching a massive trailer from work and driving all our larger furniture over.

Sunday another friend is having Tom and Tasha for the WHOLE day!

Tuseday and Thursday M is off to help out.

Friday - hand keys over.

The first move we did to Bristol was done 2 days after we were married. We hired a transit van and drove from Kilmarnock to Bristol - breaking the journey in Stafford to pick up my sisters old TV. At which point my brother in law went mental and tried to set up home in our van.  Actually the least painful of moves - partly because we had that little stuff that it all fit nicely in a transit van. Plus we knew we were getting a kick ass honeymoon in Verona as soon as we had dumped all the stuff.

Second move was done over a week so we could "walk" all our wordly belongings from our one house in Clifton, to the other. I was about 3 months pregnant at the time. It was possibly our worst planned move ever. Fortunately we had no furniture. But we did have a lot of books. Still thank heavens for wheelie suitcases....

Then there was the move from Clifton to Long Ashton. On paper - it looked good.   In actuality what happened was Mr R and our friends in Bristol loaded the stuff onto the van after hiking down 4 flights of stairs. Man with a van drove it to the new house where me and Tom were waiting to let him in. Except I had to unload it all and drag it into the house. On my own.  Except not as 4 month old Tom woke up with chicken pox that morning. So I had to do it all with him strapped to my back. Carting book cases whilst Mr Spotty grumbled. It was just lovely.

Then there was the move to Liverpool. We splashed out and hired a removal company. And one of my friends had Tom solidly for a couple of days -so he just watched Finding Nemo continuously for 8 hours a day. Anyway we made it safely to Whiston. Our furniture took a lot longer. Fortunately the nizzods were round the corner to give aid and succour.

Then we moved to Hitchin.  We were on a strict deadline for that one because we had to return the hire car.  Tom then threw up all over it. The removal company had forgotten to tell us they only take cash - so the time that I needed to spend cleaning the car was spent driving manically round Hitchin - trying to get as much cash as we could.  Frantic car clean.  I ended up with half an hour to find Luton airport in a car that smelt of vomit and frightened children. Computer also ended up with scotch egg jammed in it.

Then we moved up to Banchory. The highlight was being messed about by the removal company and shouting at them that hard that they were clearly terrified of me. And they ran whenever I went near them.  Scratch that - the highlight was surely having to drive one handed with my other hand in a cup of ice - actually sobbing with pain from my badly burnt finger. I did it about 20 minutes before we had to leave. Or would it be driving with a potty full of bvomit which Mr R tried to empty out of the window - so we ended up with it all blowing back into the car and down the car door. or, you know, the plain old driving for 11 hours with less than a couple of hours sleep at a service station car park, with a throbbing finger.

So this is why we hate moves. But at least everytime we can tell ourselves - at least it'll never be as bad as last time. And sometimes, it isn't.

But the signs are good this time. I mean, seriously, its not like it can be worse than last time....

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:19:54 GMT

Oven Pride

Awesome for ovens.

Terrible for arms and legs and anything else the damn stuff touches.

If anyone has any ideas how to stop it slowly blistering the skin off my arm and leg - I would be most appreciative.

The sign of things to come, I fear

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:05:56 GMT

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article4290298.ece

Sent to me by Mr R entitled Tora, Tora, Tory. Which amused me much more than the article did.

Sorry more memes - I'm afraid of 7 out of 72 common fears"

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:40:20 GMT

[] the dark
[] staying single forever
[] being a parent
[] giving birth
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights
[] dogs
[] birds
[] fish
[] spiders
[] flowers or other plants
[] being touched
[] fire
[] deep water
[] snakes
[] silk
[] the ocean
[] failure
[] success
[x] thunder/lightning a little.....
[] frogs/toad
[] my boyfriend's/girlfriend's dad
[] my boyfriend's/girlfriend's mom
[] rats
[] jumping from high places
[] snow
[] rain
[] wind
[] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[] heaven
[] being robbed
[] falling
[x] clowns
[] dolls
[x] large crowds of people - only in enclosed buildings
[] men
[] women
[] having great responsibilities
[] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes - only because of the lightning.
[] hurricanes
[] incurable diseases
[] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[] ghosts
[] poverty
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains
[] odd numbers
[] even numbers
[] being alone
[] becoming blind
[] becoming deaf
[] growing up
[] creepy noises in the night
[] bee stings
[] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[] needles
[] blood
[] dinosaurs
[] the welcome mat
[] high speed
[] throwing up
[] falling in love
[] super secrets

Final Total: 6

If you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it "I'm afraid of __ out of 72 common fears"

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you're paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.
People who don't have any are liars.

cut contents here.

For once I actually have the right icon up.

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:05:59 GMT

I think we are possibly being haunted by a giant rabbit that only the children can see.

A few weeks ago everybody at school seemed to be asking me if we had a giant rabbit.  At this point they all would stretch their arms to indicate a rabbit roughly the height of Tasha.  She had been running around telling them that we had one that lived in our house.   Apparently she was very convincing.

Well I didn't think any more about it, until yesterday. Yesterday they sent the children's art work home. A few weeks back Tom had drawn a picture of the family. Its very nice. Anyway there was this 5th thing lurking in the picture. When I asked him who it was - he told me it was The Rabbit. (in the picture it comes up to his shoulders in height.  Not that this is necessarily accurate as Tasha is taller than both Tom and daddy in it - but fortunately Tom had the foresight to trap her in a giant bubble.)

Very odd.

Also he came back with the seed packet he had designed for his sunflower seeds. Everybody else had drawn sunflowers on their packet. Tom had drawn an "ewock tree". Ewoks grow on one side and Jawas on the other.

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:14:29 GMT

Baths BC

An hour or so spent reading books by candlight with enormous bubbles and a selection of hot and cold drinks, fruits and the occasional squishy bun. Witty and entertaining conversation with Mr R whilst music plays softly in the background.

Bath today

I slide into a lovely warm, bubble free bath with a tray of hot brioche. Where I am joined almost instantly by the monsters. Who scoff most of the brioche and daub the rest all over themselves and the bath. Tom discovers he can make Flounder bip - so there is much hilarity. King Arthur knocks the plastic Dora island on to Tom's head and then figures out that he can probably make it from one side of the bath to the other by using our heads as stepping stones. At which point we end up with one very tiny wet kitten consiting entirely of teeth, claws and miaows. Bath now is made up mostly of blood, screaming children and what I seriously hope are lumps of brioche. Tasha then pokes me in the chest and starts muttering about chopping off my noo noos. I discover that Han Solo at some point has become grafted to my backside. Make decision to vacate bath of blood and brioche and no doubt wee by this time.

Readvertise my children on Facebook.

The Big Read meme, stolen from evel_lin andf goaskyourmother

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:17:48 GMT

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (Not really sure why this is here as it's part of 33...)
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73.The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton Surely the Famous Five should be on here????
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

71, I do believe...

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:45:50 GMT

There's probably more productive things to be doing at this hour of the day than surfing through everyone's friend's pages. But I'm bored and revelling in the fact I no longer need to get any sleep. Anyway for some reason, some people got my STP sketch twice. I m not sure how that works.

Also I have decided to write a Thomas the tank Engine book teaching kids about existentialism. I am going to call it, 'Thomas and Jean-Paul Sartre Come to Breakfast'. I think there is a real gap in the market for simplified philosophy books for 5 year olds.

Oh well - off to conduct embarassing scientific experiments on Mr R whilst he is sleeping.

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:54:39 GMT

Thanks Tom.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:24:21 GMT

Tom to receptionist as we arrive at the main entrance 5 minutes late for school "We had to climb through the window today."

Mummy coughs, receptionist starts laughing and says to Tom - " maybe your mum wouldn't want you telling everyone that." Tom looks very thoughtful.

So we take Tom down to the class. "Mrs Murdoch, Mrs Murdoch we had to climb through the window this morning...but Mummy doesn't want me to tell anyone."

When I finally get back from the doctors with Tasha, followed by a Signpost meeting (its a bit like the CAB - but more local and unbelievably helpful and reassuring) and climb back through the window, there are 3 messages from Tom's school saying he'd been sat in the office since 11 with a banged head from falling off a balancing beam. I got the message at 2.

I arrived at school and saw his teacher who pointed out that I wasn't having a great day. But you know actually she was wrong. Apart from Tom winding up injured, ofcourse and spending most of the day in the school office. I think this is why stupid stuff always happens when I m most stressed. Its not because I ve got too much on my mind to pay attention to minor things like the location of my keys or turning up for a child minding course on the correct day rather than 2 days early. It's actually because it makes me laugh.

Whilst typing this Tom has told me that he's learnt to draw real people today, with necks. So he drew a picture of me gardening whilst he was climbing out of the window. I can't wait to see that one.

Sun, 11 May 2008 12:54:31 GMT

Today the church was starting a special child friendly sunday school. They gutted the Sunday school and have renamed it 'the tent.' They have got some fancy furniture and stunning wooden themed figures to play. I have to say it really was impressive. Anyway the children got to give tours to the members of the congregation. Most of the kids showed their family around and then went and sat down. Tom and Tasha showed basically everyone else around. It was quite cute seeing Tasha run up to all these OAPs, grab them and then drag them around the room. Jabbering away like a mad thing to the poor confused pensioners.

Tom's tours were apparently "very informative." Epsecially when he was showing them the model of Jerusalem where Jesus lived. This involved Tom making Darth Vader go in and out of the city gates.

Tasha's tours consisted of her pointing at the racks of toys from afar, dragging them to the bible - which she kept trying to steal, a brief tinkle on the piano (which was in a completely different room) followed by a food sampling session at the snack table. Many people commented on how helpful it was to have her identifying the cheese and the apples and the crackers. You could always tell when people had been on a Tasha tour. They'd come out of the room clutching a handful of food and looking very bewildered.

And another reason to love the Rough Guide Travel books

Fri, 09 May 2008 12:57:30 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7391776.stm

Sun, 04 May 2008 22:33:56 GMT

Firstly happy birthday deludedprophet and good to see you online and actually posting stuff.

There is no secondly. There was, but I deleted it because I realised I was sounding mental. Having just moaned about wasting 1/2 an hour watching a show I hated - it seems ironic that I then spent 2 hours trying to explain why it annoyed me so much. And then a further 2 minutes deleting everything I'd written.

*hits head with keyboard repeatedly*

Stop press!

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:45:11 GMT

We have Jesus in our freezer.

I wish Tom would stop going on about him at school though because we are getting some extremely odd looks.

It was the worst of times...and really, really the worst of times.

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 20:27:31 GMT

The plan

Monday am - head to Stafford to visit family and friends. Minimise time Mr R has to spent with my mother. Show off my mental children - check out some of my old haunts such as The Climbing Tree, my old schools and other such exciting things things guaranteed to put a spring in Mr R's step.

Friday am head up to Kilmarnock before immersing ourselves in my nieces birthday party preparations.

Drive to Stafford. Stopping at every service station between Gretna and Stafford so Natasha could do a series of very dramatic and noisy bips. Each more unpleasant than the first. Until we said enough - and Tasha promptly crapped all over everything. Cue mad scramble through Stafford services with grumbly toddler. Arrive in new clothes at Nanna's house. Say "hello Nanna" and discover she is once again covered in crap. So is the booster seat and car seat. Mr R scrubs car whilst I scrub tasha. Fresh clothes. Tasha and Tom sit playing with the garage on living room floor. Enormous bip and Tasha and mum's carpet are covered in crap. Tasha spends the rest of the 'holiday' sitting on a giant shower curtain. We use up every item of clothing and it just keeps on coming. For anyone who doesn't know my mum - visiting is a series of very painful rituals. Each time you go the rules change subtlely - so you are perpetually wrong footed. Take for instance this time when she yells because I have opened the fridge door by the handle rather than a bit of string. Previous rules have included 'at all times hold the handle of the fridge - or it will swing into the oven and made a slight 'ping' noise.' And she will get cross and make either me or Mr R cry. So you can see why we get a bit jittery when we go down. But hey - it was okay we'd get to see my sister and my school friends.

Except it got worse. And worse. And worse. Me and Tom made a brief bid for freedom and went to a farm with my sisters wonderful kids on the Wednesday. It felt like the best 4 hours ever. Mr R got to stay home and sponge crap off the bed sheets.

So now we are home after 9 hours travelling interspersed with many, many toilet breaks. Leaving behind a very poorly nanna. WHo actually turned out to be much nicer about us turning up, breaking her toilet seat (Mr R didn't know about the 'don't under any circumstances ever, EVER sit on the toilet lid), forcing the washing machine out of retirement, having her living room floor, bath, bathroom floor and her bed crapped and vomited on. Using her telephone (thats very against the rules) and ofcourse giving her the worst upset tummy in the history of poorly tummys. Also mr R totally forgot to wipe some small spots of water off the draining board - which is in her top 5 worse crimes.

And goodness knows when we will get to see Mollie.

But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Sophie so much for the Longies. They are awesome. Ofcourse they are getting nowhere near Tasha til she has stopped oozing smelliness. But seriously they are amazing and I will be posting piccies as soon as she is well.

Saw this on foragoodworld - passing it on.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:16:45 GMT

And yet more reasons why Banchory is great.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:23:48 GMT

We have the best local Newspaper in the world. The Deeside Piper.

On the second page this week was a compelling piece entitled "Owl found new home in pipe." Apparently "a confused looking tawny owl" was discovered living in a pipe.

On the following page is a picture of a very sad old lady holding a photo of a cat entitled "Please make a coffin for my kitty". A full page spread on how Sophie Mutch, of Echt is looking for someone to build a coffin for her beloved pet cat Kitty - who is currently residing in a hole at the bottom of her garden. Says Mrs Mutch "I just feel he is lying there unkempt." Now I am not saying it is not heartbreaking losing a pet. But seriously page 3 news?

I am waiting for next weeks headline which will no doubt read "Mrs R in dramatic tumble down stairs." Witnesses heard a series of loud thumps - followed by an expletive. Mrs R is currently recovering at home with a slightly sore wrist and ankle and a tiny bit of bruising on her inner elbow. Her sons friend who was visiting was that traumatised he had to be driven home.

Also it is great because we went to check out where they are planning on building new "affordable" houses outside Banchory at a place called Hirn. After a bit of exploration we came to two buildings. "Is this Hirn?" I asked Mr R a little confused. But fortunately the owners of the houses were used to this and had named the farm 'South Hirn Farm.' Oh right, we say. This must be South Hirn. Until we notice the next building is called 'North Hirn.' Welcome to Hirn. Population 3.

ANd lastly I ve just been to see our MSP. Now I don't have the best of records with dealing with MP's. There was the whole Bill Cash fox hunting thing when I was about 8. Then there was the ongoing feud with Eddie O Hara in Whiston. Who I managed to harass on a pretty constant basis about mobile phone masts, protecting the rights of nursing babies and a bit of a rant about the trident missiles. Incidently after being a total dick - he did eventually sign the breastfeeding manifesto and sent me a photocopy of his signature. I was a little confused as there was no covering letter. But hey ho 1 out of 3 aint so bad. So yes MPS generally have sucked in my experience.

So I went to see my MSP today about the LIFT housing scheme and the fact the Scottish government truly believe that someone in Deeside can actually find a 3 bed house for under a 100,000. I took along the latest property listings which was as well. He said it was ridiculous - the only possibility of finding a house under a 100 grand was if one of the ex council houses came up for sale. So I showed him one that was currently on the market for offers over 145. Anyway he said the housing situation was intolerable and that he would contact the housing minister and point out how absurd the limits were. I actually felt like I had someone on my side fighting my cause for me.

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 16:07:31 GMT

So a nice family game of Guess Who this morning.

Tom: Has he got a hat?
Tasha: 'es.
click click click click

Tasha: Is cake?
pause
Tom: erm... no?

But you know she makes a good point - why aren't any of the people cakes?

And in other news - just took Tom to his friend Abis birthday party. 2 boys. 22 girls. Go Tom. But reason I mention it (other than to show how he is catnip to the laydeez) is because this is the third party he's gone to at the Soft Bear Play centre. It is also the third party I ve taken him to early. Including his own party which we arrived at 1/2 an hour before it opened. James' party we turned up 2 hours early for which is a bit of a personal best. Once agaiun living up to the title of dizziest person on the planet.

Honestly...

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:23:54 GMT

So the good news first. The Scottish government came up with the ideal scheme to help first time buyers. http://www.scr.communitiesscotland.gov.uk/stellent/groups/public/documents/webpages/cs_021092.hcsp#TopOfPage LIFT. Basically you pay for 60 - 80% of the house. Local schemes pay for the rest. You can then buy further shares in your house. And unlike many schemes you don't have to pay rent on top. Brilliant idea.

Second bit of good news - we totally qualify. So we are pretty much guaranteed a grant.

And the bad news. The Scottish government in all their wisdom set limits on how much a house can cost. In Deeside we can buy any 3 bedroom house as long as it is under £100,000. A 2 bed has to be under £85,000. The house we are renting is a 2 bed on a low income estate - its currently valued at £175,000. The girl I spoke to about it said they are getting a lot of abuse about it. She agreed it was ridiculous and the scheme isn't helping anyone in our area. So I asked her who I complain to and she told me nobody had ever asked her that. Usually they just shout at her. A lot.

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:39:40 GMT

Walking home from school today Tom was really upset when his friend Nathan told him that brothers and sisters aren't allowed to get married. Tom had been telling Nathan how he was going to marry Tasha when they were older. Nathan pointed out that you can't marry someone you live with. Tom then suggested Nathan marries her. To which Nathan shouted "yuck" and said he was going to grow up to be a "cool guy and ride round on his skateboard all day."

Fortunately they are all playing upstairs at the moment. As there may have been an accident involving a very dirty soup pan and some soda crystals. So despite the fact it is snowing I have every window in the house open. ANd some very cold children scampering around. Especially Tasha who for reasons known only to herself, keeps taking all her clothes off and trying to make Nathan wear her princess dress.

EDIT
And to all budding pizza makers. If you forget to put the ingredients in to a warm mixing bowl, don't panic and stick it all in the oven to "warm up." Because someone is guaranteed to phone and you are guaranteed to end up with an oven full of flour, salt and melted mixing bowl. At least the smell of burnt plastic has replaced the smell of caramelised soda crystals. *bangs head repeatedly against oven door*

HELP!!

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 17:16:28 GMT

3 weeks to sort out Tasha's party.

Option 1 : Llama trekking. Points for: Tasha loves llamas and would be very excited by it all. Also it would really irritate Val. Points against: There don't appear to be any. I am confused as to why people aren't cashing in on this. I really don't see why I should have to traipse down to Dorset when there is a perfectly respectable field of llamas less than 3 miles away.

Option 2: Soft Bear Play Centre. Points for - 2 hours of soft play, food, cakes, goody bags and balloons. Not in our house. N loves it. Points against: Min 10 kids which means its going to cost £72.

Option 3: Take 5 kids to paint pottery animals. Points for - I would enjoy it. Soft play available and sandwiches. But its still £50. And I won't be able to take my eyes off Tash for 2 seconds. Also I would still need to buy a cake and goody bags.

Option 4 - we go and crash the llama field and have a picnic in the middle of it and hope the mad lady who owns them doesn't chase us away. Ditto to random NT castle etc. Plus - cheap and we'd never see Val again.

Option 5: A Princess (or Transformer) Party at home. For - Cheap (ish). Against - mess and chaos, small house, I'll have to actually do stuff. I'm pretty crap at organising stuff. And most of the people she wants to invite are boys.

Option 6: This. http://www.howieirvine.com/activities/childrens_activities.htm £11.50 a head but minimum number of 2 kids. Plus - looks quite fun and will be quiet. Against: They would be teaching Tasha and a bunch of 3 year olds to shoot.

So please help. Any other ideas I ve not considered would be gratefully pounced on. Not sure Tashas friends are that important when I asked her who she wanted to invite - she said " a cake" and "snow white". Her friend Jack was added as an afterthought.